I met Tanneh at the airport in Ghana. I was checking in for my flight back to Monrovia when this beautiful lady walked up to me and said “Please how much does your bag weigh, I have 4kg in excess baggage, can I add that 4kg to yours?.” Luckily I had less than minimum baggage allowance and helped her out.
Our airline seats were together and from the first conversation I could tell how smart she was. She had a wealth of experience she drew from. The only thing that matched her smarts was her beauty, and boy was she beautiful.
Tanneh understood me, our conversations just flowed. She was quirky and funny, when she found out she was 5 years older than me, she laughed and called me “young man”. Only when she was angry or serious would she call me by my name. Our friendship blossomed.
I find relationships to be ultimately utilitarian. It should be tailored to serve a function and meet the needs of the parties involved. Don’t get me wrong, love is important, but people are often disillusioned with the over-significance of love, that’s why they see and aim for only traditional relationships based on love. For me, I think of relationships in a broader manner. That’s probably why I said “yes” when Tanneh wanted just a “friends with benefits” relationship.
It had happened after I had kissed her. It happened so fast, we were watching movies, then hands strayed and we kissed. I told her I was attracted to her, we made out and then went back to the movie. She called me the next day and said “Tiah, I am attracted to you too. But I have a man. So if anything would happen between us, we need to have boundaries. Me and my man kinda have an understanding about things like this”
Tanneh was different, she has a way of swallowing a person whole. Spending time with her was bliss, our conversations were gold, they were effortless. She pushed me and ensured I was always striving to be the best version of myself. And the sex? The sex was awesome; it was easily the best I have had. She knew what she wanted and what worked for her, and somehow, whatever she did worked for me, it was like she knew my body more than I did.
We had a schedule, we talked twice a week. She had rules we could not cross. But with time, I was totally riding her wave, or maybe I was a carcass floating on her tides. Whatever the case, I knew I wanted to be soaked in her essence, I needed to be soaked in it.
Tanneh felt like destiny, and while I am not the strongest believer in destiny and fate, she just felt like a gift from a higher power. But three months later, after two rounds of sex she said “Tiah, this needs to end. Francis proposed, I am getting married. We can have the whole of next week together, but after that we need space. this is over”. It felt like someone hit me with a sledgehammer, I couldn’t think straight.
The following week was amazing, but two weeks later, I felt miserable and incomplete without her. I asked her meet over lunch. She insisted we have lunch at a restaurant so we could avoid “temptation”. I didn’t care what the condition was, I just needed to see her. I ordered drinks for us, after the pleasantries she said “what’s up?”. I swallowed hard then I said “I have feelings for you. Tanneh, I love you”
“Tiah, you can’t love me. just stop, this is not what we agreed”
“But I love you”
“just stop, I can’t do this. I told you it’s over, let it go, stop being emotional”
I felt so empty as she stood up and walked away from the table. I tried calling to talk things over, but she blocked me everywhere, text, Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, everywhere. I tried having sex with other people to get over her. But they didn’t cut it, they weren’t Tanneh. I yearned for Tanneh
Four weeks later, I saw pictures from her wedding on my Facebook timeline. I found out she and her husband relocated to the US right after the wedding. It’s hard and it hurts when someone you love walks out of your life. It hurts more when you have no say in them walking out. you wake up one day and the person is just gone, leaving nothing but memories. Nothing but emptiness in the place they once filled.
It’s been three months since then. Luckily, I got her new US number. Today I texted her “hey Tanneh,….”.
Authored by Dounard Bondo
Featured Picture by NSC Sports
