Love Na Wan Tin Tin

Dear Friends in Online Land,

Valentines Day arrived. Along with it came all the lovebirds out their woodworks chirping away (Disclosure: between our likes and pro-love comments, we, the inhabitants of singledom, were low-key salty to not be in on it). Our social media pages exploded with meant-to-bes and #soulmates and on every corner vendors sold roses (even fake ones). You couldn’t avoid it; even if you tried. So with love in the air, and me being single, I began to contemplate rejoining the dating scene.

Now see, your girl’s busy. Between traveling, schooling, being in a relationship, undoing that relationship, entering another and then another, and undoing those- while simultaneously growing up (which is a full-time job btw…so, stay young kids)- I’ve just not had the time. But, now’s different. I’m at a slower pace and can make time for all the love.

However, the more I thought, I realized how unfamiliar I’d become with the dating culture in Liberia. What does that look like these days? Do you meet other singles at Karaoke or Spot? Do you get introduced by mutual friends? Most important of all, are women still playing/expected to play that ridiculously “hard-to-get” game, due to some unrealistic and caricatural ideals of modesty and integrity? Even though (and ladies, be honest), we usually know on sight (or very early on) if we like a guy? Being totally honest,  I played along in the past. Oh please, don’t judge me; I already told you I had a lot of growing up to do. Due to the aforementioned growing, I now recognize I had succumbed to societal pressures, false expectations etc etc.

But that was then and now as a vibrant, driven, smart young adult; who’s not with the shits, i.e., unwilling and unable to do the whole, “I will make that one stay long running behind me” game, where do I, and others like me, fit into this equation? You know, us girls who are honest and vocal about what we want, like sex- if and when we do. For example, I like sex. (actually, since we’re all friends here and recognize the importance of open and honest dialogue, I’ll be clear: I love sex! It really is one of the best things in this world- easily ranked in the top 3 of any ‘best things in the world’ list).

Or Is that abrasive? For a woman, that is.

After all, sexual desires were only given to men. Therefore, explicit expressions of sex were approved by the gods of idiocy, solely as a men’s mantra; because, and as they put it “men will be men?” Or, has the Liberian society evolved and wised up to recognize a woman’s full autonomy over her body?

What is the appropriate way for a woman to go about dating? What is appropriate for a guy? Do the same rules apply regardless of gender? Or da jue la hopojo bcos your brabie la LEY MAN for washing her quick quick? Let me know what you think.

As always,  from your favorite girlchild,

With lots of love and kindness

Authored by GirlChild