My flesh has clearly watched Him do His surgical work and I have seen the spirit of God staring at and working on me in a way I can’t explain vividly. I have seen His spirit liberate my captivated soul and reawaken my dead conscience. I have seen Him rearrange my shattered pieces and felt His power restructuring my inner self.
Hence, dear friend, if you happen to receive an invite from God to visit or revisit the surgical room, be not afraid for He is coming to mend, heal, reawaken, rebirth, and restructure every part that is dead and broken. There are so many words heard in an operating room but He, being the best surgeon, prefers silence. So, I watched as He removed, disconnected, and rebirthed something inside of me.
The process was painful but I had no choice. I was so desperate for change and in a place of such brokenness that pouring out everything was somehow relieving to my soul. I silently watched as His scissors penetrated my heart and removed hatred. I saw him eliminate the roots of seeds that were planted deep within me when I was spiritually weakened by evil men.
As a result, I was in sweet pain. “How can pain relieve pain?”, I wondered. But this was one of the best feelings I had ever experienced. I saw blood gush out of my body and He made me lose every social network because I needed to be separated for a purpose. This pain, this sweet pain, made me feel alive again. The pain of enduring this cleansing process was a beautiful thing. I thought I was going to die. But instead, at that point, I breathed freely and my eyes were wide open.
However, the mending and reconstructing stages were as awesomely painful as the removing and diminishing processes. It took time for those wounds to heal. At one point, I went after stretch mark removals because I could not bear the scars, but nothing could help in the process. And as anyone would, I wanted instant healing.
Often, we crave instantaneous healing after grueling battles, right? We want to appear like nothing really left us, ignoring the fact that at a particular point the battle became fierce, and we encountered stronger hits that left bruises on our heels. We love to pretend that we stood tall like Goliath was in fights, forgetting to allow the world to understand that there were bullets and swords strokes received. Despite all of this, we always crushed the enemies’ heads and came out victorious.
As a result, I needed to wait, learn, unlearn and relearn during this new phase of my life and cope with the scars. After all, scars are meant to remind you of your bravery and the fact that, at least, you did not give up in that surgical room. Others willingly walked into that room to be cured but could not withstand the pain so they left half cured. They are more dead than alive now as a result of incomplete work. They are so much more vulnerable to death because some things were left within them that should have been taken out in that room. Lo, the pain chased them out and now they are in an eternal battle with diseases and fears.
Now, I have reached this point in my life where I have realized that those scars are my greatest blessings.
Authored by: Agnes Nagbe
Featured Image by: Jeffery Erhunse on Unsplash
One of my very best ??
To be honest, I’m so proud of you best friend. Nice piece, keep it up
Symbolism in literature, when used effectively, is a most formidable tool, and Agnes didn’t just grabbed those symbols and used them effectively— she made them bow down to her. She outdid herself with this piece.
“Words can be like X-rays if you use them properly— they’ll go through anything. You read and you’re pierced,” wrote Aldous Huxley. I’m atheist, but this piece reminds me of the Beauty that can be found in Faith— and in Redemption. Agnes pierced me.
I’m going to go reread.