So you wake up early in the morning or sometimes in the middle of the night, run hurriedly to the restroom to check yourself. With a slight disappointment, your underclothes are all dry, clean and unbloody. Your eyes became watery, it really hurts; “the pain woke me up!” you remind yourself in a whisper. You try to take a step, but your abdomen begins spinning, stretching and feeling like something is eating your intestines raw. You feel the cramps, sharp aching in your lower abdomen. You fall on your knees, using one hand to support your body against the ground while using the other to press on your suffering tummy. Helplessly, you sob in silence, with tears rolling down your cheeks.
Within minutes, your knees become weaker. You feel paralyzed, the water in your eyes maximized, you then let out a loud cry. Wanting to hold still, you push back against the pain, but it hurts -everything hurts! Your back starts to suffer severe pain, making it impossible to stand or sit. You let out the “ahh haa… ahhh… Aha aha!!.” It sounds almost like a laugh. Within minutes, you experience an increased vaginal secretion, all wet and slippery; you release a very heavy and thick discharge- you’re excited! For some, the pain immediately comes to stop; for you, it is just the beginning. You run to the restroom to freshen up. Luckily, you are home and do not face the repulsive comments from the opposite sex.
Eventually, you begin fighting to keep your emotions in check, observing your level of sensitivity to the environment. You moan, scratching the walls, you drag yourself to a comfortable location. You roll in bed for hours, with no hope of when it is going to stop. Your only wish for the moment is to just take a break from whatsoever you are feeling. You tussle, scuffle for minutes, maybe hours, seeking relief. Eventually, it goes away and you sigh!
After a moment, it comes back. You normally would take pills to relieve the pain, but drugs have side effects; so you choose to let the natural order take over your body. You become stressed, uncomfortable in your own skin. You feel fat, you feel disgusted. For some, they feel proud of their womanhood even when it does not reduce the pain. Your back feels as if it is about to split from your pelvis. You pull your knees to your chest, hoping that the position brings comfort or even relieves you of the pain. On the contrary, everything in that moment provides irritation!
A male figure walks in. He expresses empathy and decides to help you with some house chores. He pampers you and offers to buy pills or pad. There is no female figure around, so he volunteers his time to help you out. That is if he is really nice and mature.
A (different) male walks in, the immature one… He ignores you and continues his activities. When he’s had enough of your sobs and drama, he then lets out: “but can’t you just go and take medicine. You women cry about everything! Losing your virginity, you cry! During sex, you cry!. Childbirth, you cry! Every small thing, you cry! Just small period that happens every month, you na open a crying factory. Chey?! Yeah mehn!.”
He adds, “You aren’t really sick, just go and eat something” (an assumption that having sex takes away the pain).” He laughs at you, teases your pain and wants you to stop complaining near him. He doesn’t get it! You try to ignore his words and act all tough, but deep down you feel offended.
At that moment, too many questions of self-identity shatters your mind, you feel your femininity becoming fragile as your womanhood is being challenged for what is beyond your control. The begin to ask the WHYs:
“Why me?” “Why am I the one always being looked down upon?” “Why does my natural state of creation disgust the opposite sex?” “Why do I have to go through all these pains?” You begin to wonder why you never had the chance to choose your sex during your creation. For once you forget that being a woman is the greatest privilege that you have. Feeling your stress level rising, you ask, ask, and continue asking even knowing that answers are never coming. Within minutes, the pain of the body coincides with that of the mind. You scream the loudest you can as you feel the warmth of your tears down your neck.
You go on for hours, days, or maybe a week, and eventually the pain goes away for good. You then realized that your blood pressure had dropped a little due to the loss of blood, but it is no big deal. You’ll eventually regain your full state of health, even if only for the next three weeks, and move on to wait for the next bus stop -the life of a typical woman.
Synopsis: If you read this and you’re a woman, be proud of yourself. As we move to the next month, I hope we all realise how strong we are, as our courage is unimaginable. We are the proud and nurturing mothers; the beautiful daughters, fantastic wives, and loving sisters; the wonderful friends, and God’s gifted creation. Be proud of your womanhood!
Authored by Fatu M. Kaba
