Remembering Love by Soakapeh A. Weh-Dorliae wins third place in Seek Lib * Sleepless in Monrovia’s Writing Competition.
I knew you would make ruins of me when I saw you parting the streets, creating your own crosswalk amidst yellow taxis, kehkeh’s,and cars that filled them like water, like oceans.
The sweat from your beautiful crushing black skin being warmed by the sun drowning me, drowning me and I asked, “Lord if you cannot save me from this drowning, save me some dignity when it is over.”
Your radiance pressed deep into my soul causing her to wake from her slumber with a lappah loosely tied under her arms adorned with gold and witness scarring take shape.
Under such a heartbreaking sunset I knew you were no place to seek refuge but women possess the sinew to foresee their own destruction and move toward it. So I Fantasized about the better things love makes out of people and bent to its delusion.
And then I remember, what didn’t we do under the veil of the night? She held our secrets so well I thought she would burst and stars would fall and galaxies would rain down from all that she hid for us.
I loved you so much I ran out of things to give and therefore I looked inward to take my own insecurities to give as weapons that aided you in my destruction.
I am no goddess, I cannot make the earth break for me. I cannot command your love or impress you with mine. The skies refuse to open when I cry out to them and the world has never rejoiced in my name.
And what did I expect you to do with this sadness? What have you given in its place but more sadness?
You dipped my head in the ocean of your lies and kept me there
eyes filled to the brim
lungs filled to the brim
heart seconds away from losing me
And I thought, “I am no goddess but look how beautifully I break for you”
Absolutely beautiful.