I am a Failure

I am a failure!

I’ve failed more times then I can remember 

Yet, I’ve never stopped trying.

Even when crying,

Drowning in a pool of tears

Created from the many years of do-overs 

And sleepless nights – constructing my battle plans.

Plans to win, never ever wanting to lose. 

I’m entitled to first place, right? 

At least that’s what I was told,

“It’s either you’re first or you are nothing.”

I am to be perfect.

My name will never go down in history for second place,

“No one is to see me break.”

“I only get one try.”

Yet I broke,

Like a pencil pressured to paper. 

Flipped the page, I rewrote. 

Gave myself a second chance,

Like Oprah, Bill, Steve, Alex and Ellen did. 

For I know, like Jobs said,

“All fear of embarrassment or failure; 

These things just fall away in the face of death,

Leaving only what is truly important.

Remembering that I am going to die

Is the best way I know,

To avoid the trap of thinking I have something to lose.”

Today, I am a failure.

A failure who knows that one day I’ll be gone.

I wake up every morning with a plan

To leave a mark upon this earth.

I brace the storms.

I know one day they will be gone

And the world will remember the battles I’ve fought.

I continuously learn from my wrongs,

And cast fear to the wind.

Today, I tell you.

I am a successful failure.

Each morning,

I accept that I don’t have to be perfect to be the best.

I know being MY best is always better than being THE best,

Because there are about 8 billion kinds of “normal.”

The only thing I can ever do 100% every time I try,

Is to be myself.

No matter how much success I have,

The number of times I’ve failed would be higher.

I study;

I learn;

I seek understanding;

I open my mind to different perspectives. 

Most importantly, I seek the beauty in failure.

It doesn’t matter how many times I fall,

If I always get up.

Like Michael, Maya, Chimamanda, Mandela,

And every successful failure before me,

I know this to be ever  true:

“It is better to have tried and fail than to not try at all.”

So call me a failure,

For I am not ashamed to say, I fail.

Authored by Beulah Nimene & Joshua S. Kulah
Featured Image by
Financial Samurai

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